He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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