i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize