I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
