I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
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he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
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With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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