I cannot find my penis.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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