The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
