The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
