dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
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I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
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I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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