so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
