dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize