wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
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You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
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That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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