I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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