I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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