A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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