Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Slut skills are useful in every country.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
