from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
