put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
