i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
