Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
