Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she told me i tasted like america
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
