Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
