hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
