i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
