Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
