Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
