Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
