So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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