I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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