is your mom at the bar?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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