no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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