also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
false alarm, still single
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
