oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
