chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Randomize
