If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize