Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.