She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.