p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Every concussion has its silver lining
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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