While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
