ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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