I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
