you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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