her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
