Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
