My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
