I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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