Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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