Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
