I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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