you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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