I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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