Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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