Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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