just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
