I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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