her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize