I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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