I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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