how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
