Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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