I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
