Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize