i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
