i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
