Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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